Denis "The Worm" Garry
Name: Denis Garry
Nickname: Red Devil, Renis, Renois, Human Highlight Film, #13.
Height: 6'1"
Career highlights: Dropped (intentional, we think) crazy pass to Jewby,
for the miss. Currently leading the league in confused on court looks and has
led the team in scoring on one occasion (tied for season lead).
Strengths: Leads the league in field goal percentage, blocks, steals and
rebounds by tall, white blonde haired players who wear 13 and play for Shaken
Bacon. On Wednesdays. At Knox. This year.
Weaknesses: Too passive around the basket as he is yet to throw down a
tomahawk jam in traffic. On a Wednesday. For Shaken Bacon. At Knox. This year.
Personal History: Learned to speak Australian while living in Ireland, a
setback in anyones books. Has flourished under the guidance of Allah and the
holy spirits of bourbon and scotch.
Has been linked with Real Madrid in recent weeks. Shaken Bacon club officals are
worried that they might lose the dynamite inside presence of the much feared 13
to free agency.